bardbarous | Recent Entries

IN CHARACTER

Character Name: Tachome "Tuck" Dhaume
Canon: Spout Lore
Canon Point: end of season 6 ep 2 - the group goes to sleep in the Hither and Yon tavern after their rescue from the Sea of Graves

In-Game Tattoo Placement: It's totally a shitty neck tat in black. The antlers look like a stereotypical tribal pattern
Current Health/Status:
Age: mid 20s
Species: Human

Content Warnings: Cultural insensitivity

History:

GENERAL WORLD OVERVIEW
It was a fairly regular medieval fantasy world until about 90 years ago when all the magic in the world vanished. There was a mass exodus of all wizards that left the physical plane of existence in order to escape persecution for their questionable experiments and magical abuse of power.

Everything that ran on magic, was controlled by magic, crafted by magic, suddenly it was all broken. Society imploded, much like it would if electricity suddenly vanished from our modern world.

Left in their wake were abandoned buildings, towns, and factories that no longer functioned. Even nature couldn't escape the consequences. The twin rivers that the halfling lands depended upon were reversed, and parts of the riverbeds dried up and destroyed the local ecosystem.

But more curious were the strange "hotspots" powerful wizards of the Wizards First movement left behind in the locations where they bent space and time to escape. Magic still lingers in these spots, now known as WiFi hotspots, that cause odd behaviors.

IMPORTANT PEOPLE

Fat Billie — A Halfling boy Tuck meets when he kills a Jackalope and Billie tries to steal the carcass. Thinking the Halfling is a grown adult (since they look tiny no matter their age), he brings Billie along for his next quest. It isn't until later he realizes the halfling is actually a 9 year old boy. Tuck becomes his surrogate father and watches out for him.

It also comes to light that Billie is actually very ancient. He's a fairy who has lost his memories. It's slowly coming back to him, though, as situations keep arising that require him to use undisciplined magic to protect his surrogate parents.

Vyng Vang Zoombah — Basically his life partner and waifu. A half-elf druid that can take on the shapes of animals and natural elements, like rock. Tuck and Vyng feed off each other's stupidity and poor decision-making constantly.

His goal was to amass enough money to hire an army and kill his father for murdering his mother, but he's lost a lot of his drive for revenge now that he has a family to live for.

Perell — The wizard trapped inside the magical box they recovered for the Menders. Because he helps the team find and save Vyng in the spirit realm, they decide to trust him and let Perell help Billie control his fairy magic. So far, he's the only wizard that has set foot in the physical realm in over 90 years. The Menders won't be happy when they find out these ding dongs freed him.

Meers Foulsmith — A 14 year old boy from Mudlark who joins the Menders after a race of sentient frog people ransack their town in retaliation. He loses an arm, but it is replaced with a cool ass hook. He becomes the eyes and ears of the Menders while he leads Billie, Vyng, and Tuck to a special vault where they can store a magical box of untold danger safely.

IMPORTANT PLACES/FACTIONS

The Menders — With wizards and magic vilified forcing them to flee the physical plane, the vacuum left in their wake left many magical items now unguarded and at the mercy of the ignorant, a society was developed to locate these magical items and secure them in vaults. These vaults were built upon WiFi hotspots. This ensured that magical wards stamped on these questionable items would not deteriorate.

A member of the Menders can be identified by a ceremonial copper sewing needle he or she carries. There are several divisions of the society, each responsible for a section of the Principalities that make up the known world.

Spirit Realm — Not to be confused with the afterlife. The spirit realm holds the perfect embodiment of every natural living and non-living thing in the physical realm. Every animal, tree, rock, element has an ambassador of its kind. The essence and characteristics that make up said creature or object.

This is the realm that Vyng speaks to when he wishes to change shapes. He communes with the spirit of Crocodile, Polar Bear, Elk, etc. in order to take on their characteristics and appearance.

The spirit realm can be irreparably changed or damaged, however. When he was the using the spirit of Crocodile during a fight, he was killed and Crocodile completely disappeared. Every iteration of that animal ceased to exist any longer in nature, causing ecosystem chains all around the Principalities to break.

The essences of two different spirits can be merged together, creating a whole new species. Bumble bears are accidentally created during Vyng's time in spirit realm after his death. Now they exist in the physical realm.

Light Guard — They are similar to the role Templars played for the Catholic church before being disbanded. They are the soldiers and defenders of the Church of the Flame, a monotheistic religion rooted in the foreign city Makaal, and investigate any dealings with evil creatures that come from what's known as the Outer Dark.
The Light Guard is commanded by the legendary and awe-inspiring Torch of Makaal, a man who defied death and demons as a child. From there he became an icon of strength and purity within the Church of the Flame for decades to come.

Outer Dark — Another realm where demons reside, so says the Church of the Flame. Not much is known about this place, but many from Makaal known demons to be real, and thus believe the Outer Dark is true, too. Demons that live in the physical realm can be exorcised and sent back to the Outer Dark, but they never truly die.

Sea of Graves — In the same spirit as our supernatural Bermuda Triangle, the Sea of Graves sits between the lands of Makaal and the Principalities. It is incredibly difficult to navigate no matter how seasoned the captain.

There are mammoth pillars evenly spaced throughout the Sea of Graves. No one knows where they came from. What we do know is that wind and sea currents are never constant. They will not navigate you effectively through the pillars. If you get close to them, you might see strange writing carved into the stone. There are also devastating storms that sailors say have a personal vendetta against any ship that sails through. They can feel angry emotions coming off these storms.

It's also rumored to be home to thunder birds—large birds of prey that make their nests on the tippy top of the pillars and attack sailors on their ships.

TUCK'S EARLY YEARS
Tachome Dhaume lived the majority of his life as an orphan on the streets of Makaal. He was adopted by an old man, Bruce Spruce, who sold used carts. After he died in a freak cart accident, Tuck had to fend for himself on the dangerous streets at the age of 4. They were rife with problems you'd only expect to face in your nightmares. Things like Ifrit, demons that stole children and poor souls right off those streets, would prowl around at night.

We know little about his time growing up in Makaal, but we know that he did earn money as a "bard" playing bass in a heavy metal band.

He also met a very attractive woman named Allison, who is the inspiration for his most popular metal song. The lyrics describe a succubus who seduces and sucks out his life force. But she leaves him because he is too needy.

Eventually he is run out of town and winds up working odd jobs within the Principalities across the sea. That's where he meets the first of his long-suffering family members: A halfling boy named Fat Billie.

The two meet their second companion, Vyng, not long after. They are inseparable from then on.

BECOMING A MENDER
What begins as an easy escort job for a schlass meat vendor on his way to a famous hot dog festival in Mudlark turns into an epic fantasy adventure. But with a lot less intelligence and a lot more luck than the average epic fantasy adventure.

They are successful in escorting Colonel Dan, but a new problem appears—a sentient frog people called Bullywogs invade Mudlark and call for war. Tuck and his friends are tasked with negotiating terms on the mayor's behalf at the Bullywog's stronghold in the swamps. Along the way they catch the attention of a Mudlark citizen that asks them to reclaim a strange stone box the Bollywogs had stolen earlier.

At the appropriate time and place, Tuck and the others meet with the Bullywog king. It doesn't end well. They find the stone box, but Tuck kills the king in the process of escaping back to Mudlark. They relay their failed attempts to parlay with the mayor, who takes their box as recompense.

This is a problem since the box needs to be returned to the citizen they met earlier. So, now they've got to recover it with the help of Fat Billie's underground thief network. A boy named Meers shows them where it's being housed—in a wooden ship stuck in the river bed of a dried up river. And with a poorly thought out plan, they sneak onto the ship, split up, reclaim the box, and then proceed to get caught one by one.

The captain of the ship, a notorious gang boss called Muckraker, reveals that she is the one who asked for the box in the first place. Many citizens in the town work for her. Her most important job, though, is acting as branch leader for an organization called The Menders. It is paramount that the box they stole from the Bollywogs be secured in a magic-powered vault to keep whatever is in the box in the box.

The three of them become allies of The Menders, given a copper sewing needle, and tasked with following a strange cat that can lead them to the vault. There they are to give the box over to Chamberlain and report back. Sounds simple enough, but Tuck and his friends can never stay on task for very long. Here come the distractions...

Not long into their journey following this cat's directions, Tuck, Vyng, Billie, and Colonel Dan encounter goblins ransacking a derelict tower and a fight ensues. Vyng is poisoned in the process, and now they must take a detour to find help for their friend. They come across a village called Bullrush, where Vyng is brought to the village healer to regain his strength. Tuck spends his time trying to woo one of the village women with shitty poetry and awkward comments.

Billie has his own setbacks that need a healer's attention, too. He is run down by a large rooster that senses an evil inside him. And during a daring rescue to save townsfolk from a monstrous crocodile, Billie begins mindlessly stabbing the crocodile carcass in a fit of anger that is unlike him. They bring him to the healer, who believes there is something sinister lurking in the halfling boy. To expunge it, they must dunk Fat Billie in a magical lake outside Bullrush in the hopes of driving out the "evil" clinging to the boy.

During their journey to the magical lake, Billie finally confesses to having an "imaginary friend" that's been talking to him about magic and the box they are carrying. It turns out a wizard has been imprisoned in the box and he's projecting a piece of himself to Billie. None of his teammates are happy about this since wizards are considered to be very dangerous.

Tuck wonders if the wizard in the box is what's been causing Billie's mood swings. And they find out at the lake that he's right. As Billie sinks into the water, the aggression and anger he has been feeling begins to disrupt the waters. In a desperate attempt to help, Tuck brings down his huge axe on the box, cracking it. This unleashes the full might of this evil, morphing it into a physical form that attacks the team, injuring Tuck and Billie, and then killing Vyng. In his grief and rage, Billie finds power within himself to defend his remaining friends and disperse the monster back into the water.

They return to Bullrush to figure out what to do next. Colonel Dan has a suggestion. He knows of a former elf ranger who served with his father during the War (the one between humans and the wizards a good 90+ years ago). He lives in Highspear and may know something about getting a person back from the spirit realm.

SAVING VYNG
Colonel Dan goes with them on their journey to Highspear, more specifically the Mall inside Highspear. 90 years ago, the Highspear Mall was the jewel of the city. It used magic to support all sorts of shops, amusement parks, and novel technology. Now it's falling apart because the wizards are not there to power it any longer. It's become a hotbed for crime and gang activity. There is a security department that does its best to keep order. The elf Dan mentioned just so happens to be the head of security—Seathane Wyck.

It takes some coercion, but Seathane relents to sending them to another friend of his, a fortune teller who can send people into the spirit realm. But she requires convincing, too. She is using magic to complete this feat, something that is vilified and would have her killed if the populous knew about it.

It's Seathane who finally convinces her to help them (as well as himself, it turns out). They sit in a circle meditating and their spirits are sent to the spirit realm to find their friend Vyng.

At the "entrance" between realms, known as the interface, they find the spirit of Koi Fish willing to act as a guide, for a price. They feed him baubles from the physical realm, and it directs them through the spirit realm. They encounter several other spirits along their journey, some helpful and some not so much.

Tree lashes out at the team when they adventure into its forest. It's up to Seathane and Billie to placate it. Billie asks his wizard friend for help, which summons him into the spirit realm. His very presence in this realm is unnatural, and the laws of the spirit realm try to fix it. The wizard is drawn to the spirit of Koi Fish, like light to a black hole, and they are fused together. It's the first time the team has seen this mysterious wizard friend of Billie's. First impressions don't go well.

He explains that the box has been holding him prisoner, and that the rage he felt had seeped into Billie. Once it was expelled, it became its own sentient entity, separate from its original owner. He argues that he did not kill their friend Vyng, but that this "evil" entity did so. And to prove it, he offers to help them on their journey to save their friend.

The Tree eventually parlays with the team and points them in the direction of Fire, but only after Tuck, Billie, and Seathane agree to take along a copy of Tree to plant it somewhere new in the spirit realm.

Durng their trek, Tuck befriends some stones that he had picked up and chucked through the air to let them experience an entirely new sensation for them. He names the three stones Terry, Larry, and Chad and brings them along with him.

They move on to the territory of Fire, where it has burned through grasses along the desert landscape. It then leads them to the Wasp's territory, where evidence of a scuffle occurred. That is where the spirits believe they saw a physical entity being held captive that might be Vyng.

Together they come up with a strategy to rescue Vyng without enraging Wasp. That, of course, doesn't work out at all. They rip Vyng out of the wall of Wasp's nest, catch the whole place on fire, and almost die in the process. They are saved by the Tree they've been toting along, of all things. They plant it in the ground while Vyng conjures the spirit of Water, and it grows enormous. The branches rise up and out of Wasp's nest, carrying the team with it.

They proceed back to the interface in order to return to the physical realm and their bodies. When they awake, they find themselves tied up and a familiar face greets them—Meers, the boy who helped them in Mudlark. He is working for the Menders now, and the Menders are pissed.

BECOMING A MENDER'S MOST WANTED
It's back to following the cat again. The team now includes Billie, Vyng, Tuck, Perell the wizard, and Meers. On their way to the vault for the second time, they pass through a village called Pinewood that desperately needs their help.

Their loggers and a prestigious log felling machine have gone missing. Without their team and machine, the village will die. Their reward is a night of drunken celebration and some very nice hand-crafted furniture that they have no place to store.

They set out the next day with one of the villagers as a guide. The team finds the loggers' campsite overrun by a strange and magical moss. Cries for help can be heard down an old cave opening in the moss, so they follow in after. It turns out to be a trap. The magical moss used the dead to mimic voices in order to bring more victims.

So what do Billie, Vyng, and Tuck do? Destroy everything. They find that the moss dislikes alcohol, so they task Billie with turning the waters in the cave to wine. It's a new power Billie is studying under Perell's guidance. He is a little too successful with his magic. Turns out the waterways in the cavern are linked with Pinewood's fresh water lake. The entire thing is turned to dark wine and kills off all the life in it. Oh, and as they are escaping, the cave ceiling falls in, taking the log feller with it. They are 0 for 2 on this quest.

The mayor of the town kindly tells them to get the hell out of town, but before they go they try to fix the lake. Through sheer force of will they don't exactly get rid of the wine taste, but the water becomes healing. Pinewood lost its logging income, but it can now start producing healing elixirs from its lake.

They get back on track finding the vault, which does its best to keep them out with magical tricks. But once inside there is an animate stained-glass person named Chamberlain who takes care of the vault. He asks for the box. The team decides to trust Perell and break him out of his prison instead. Once freed, he destroys Chamberlain with magical ease and helps the team leave no traces of their mutiny behind by rebuilding Chamberlain and planting false memories of the team giving him the box.

Meers is none too happy about their insubordination, but he relents to following Tuck, Billie, and Vyng's lead as they set off to stumble blindly into the next adventure.

PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT!
There have been some weird problems brewing all over the Principalities. Ecosystems are being turned on their heads, a broken moon refuses to set, and river currents have been disrupted.

The team decides to check out this moon business, and because it takes them to a resort town known as Crystal Bay, which Billie has always wanted to visit. They saddle up a carriage led by a wooly pig (a large hippo pig thing) named Francis and head out.

When they arrive, they find out the moon is a good omen that has brought tourists in droves to Crystal Bay. All the hotels are booked up, but they manage to sweet talk the receptionist at the luxurious Emerald Hotel for a suite. Meers and Perell decide to hang out at the hotel, while Billie, Tuck, and Vyng find a dive bar to eat at.

There at the counter is an old flame of Tuck's—the infamous Allison. She confides in Tuck that she is stuck in Crystal Bay and can't seem to leave. She fears that demons like her from the Outer Dark are being drawn here for slaughter. She suspects the Light Guard have something to do with this. They agree to help her, but not before a fight is incited by Allison's natural succubus allure.

The three are forced to take down practically every local inside the bar. One of them is captured, though, and brought back to their hotel room. They find out he works for the Crystal Bay pirates, and that gives them an idea. They could use this pirate network to smuggle Allison out of Crystal Bay.

The leader agrees to help once they bring back her ship and cargo that's been confiscated by Crystal Bay customs. That night the team drinks with the pirates and takes off the next morning to tell Allison the news. Unfortunately, she's nowhere to be found. Meers and Perell are tasked with finding her, while Tuck, Vyng, and Billie find the ship and return it to its rightful owners.

Shockingly, this doesn't go too well. They bribe officials, get captured, escape and blow up some of the docks to distract security. Then Vyng uses the spirit of Wind to move them out of port, but Wind wants to play more than it wants to obey and it starts damaging several other ships anchored at the docks as they sail away with the ship but none of its cargo.

That part of their deal is completed, but now they've got another problem—the Light Guard has just arrived at the docks with the Torch of Makaal at the helm. Tuck knows this organization and knows they are bad news for all of them, especially Allison. It turns out the Light Guard has been hearing the very same rumors that Tuck and the others decided to look into: the strange broken moon, the disrupted river currents, etc. It's brought them to Crystal Bay, along with information supplied by an informant who knows about Perell and the switcheroo they pulled back in the vault.

Allison also hasn't been very forthcoming about her predicament in Crystal Bay. Turns out she's been stringing the Light Guard (and Tuck) along to save her skin, implying there are other demons caught within the strange pull of Crystal Bay.

Once Tuck finds out about this, he tells her never to come to him for help again after they get her out of the Light Guards' grasp. When the time comes to leave, they all hide aboard a ship commanded by a puppet captain, who just happens to be Colonel Dan of all people. The Light Guard, however, gets wind of this and follow in hot pursuit.

Vyng persuades the neverending storms from the Sea of Graves to reach out and aid them. But it only listens for so long. Eventually, the two ships are caught within the notoriously dangerous Sea of Graves that destroys the ships and almost drowns the team.

Only Vyng, Billie, and Tuck are rescued by a humble boat covered in magical runes that keep the storms at bay. The captain is Chimes, the former Captain of the Light Guard's ship that is now sinking into the ocean. He takes them to one of the strange pillars standing in the Sea of Graves. It leads to Hither and Yon, a supernatural tavern whose door never seems to stay in the same place twice.

They ask Chimes to help them save their friend Perell who is still out there in the storms. Chimes believes the magic leeching off of Perell is likely drawing him to the center of the Sea of Graves, like a magnet. They devise a plan and rest on the tavern's floors for the night.

CRAU History and Impact: N/A
Personality: Tuck is a giant intimidating barbarian with the heart of a little boy that is equally intimidating. So, really, everything about him is pretty intimidating. He is as tactless and guileless as a child with no filter to speak of. Most of his inner monologue is more like an outer monologue to the detriment of everyone around him. In several episodes he will start rambling about a non sequitur anecdotes, like playing tether ball with a giant rock and a breakable figurine that gets crushed. His partner has to remind him at times that he's speaking out loud in order to shut him up.

All his emotions are cranked up to 11. When Tuck is happy he is loud and gregarious, breaking into song with his triple-headed bass or inventing new games with foreigners. Physical feats or strength and other frat boy antics are his bread and butter when he wants to appear impressive to a captive audience.

Impressing and looking cool is a big priority. Any opportunity to look cool to his two companions, or any men and women who cross his path, he eagerly takes. Sometimes too eagerly. But that insecurity and need for attention begins and ends with strength and capability. He has few hangs up when making a fool of himself in other ways. He will overtly ask men to seal promises with a kiss. He dresses up as a woman to disguise himself without a moment's thought or reservation, no matter how poorly done it is. He leans into this make believe hard, just like a child.

But that boyish excitement and need to look cool can turn on a dime, because he's still a seven-foot barbarian with big emotions and a giant axe. He will demand help from townsfolk at the top of his lungs or run a poor bastard down just to ask a simple question, which scares the bejeezus out of him or her. If he feels that his companions have been slighted, he quickly blows everything out of proportion and starts shit. Most of the time it is uncalled for.

For example, Billie gets scolded by a townswoman after he accidentally vandalizes a shrine to their patron. Tuck immediately makes a scene, yells at her for lecturing his son, and then proceeds to mock the shrine by wagging his dick at it. What sets Tuck apart from a regular asshole is that he has no pride to consider. If he is in the wrong and needs to apologize to smooth things over for his companions, he will. He does so with the townswoman after she storms off. After all is said and done, he immediately runs off to teach the townsfolk how to make a conga line.

All his dick waving and outlandish attitude is nothing but a broken filter problem. Whether he is yelling or apologizing a second later, it is all said transparently and genuinely.

tl;dr he is a big man-child with no hang ups, shameless to a fault, but deep down he is a lost orphan boy looking for a place in the world. And when you are seven-foot and totally bizarre beyond all sense of reality, that definitely makes finding a place you can belong pretty darn hard.

Abilities/Powers/Weaknesses & Warping: Tuck is basically the tank of the group. His abilities and powers mainly deal in feats of strength, so he doesn't have too many supernatural abilities.

His Heavy Metal axe (inspired by a metal album cover) can smash through any kind of stone. This can be nerfed/warped to only break innocuous stone objects, residental housing, statues, sculptures, but not game-specific buildings like F.E.A.R.'s compound.

War Cry — You enter battle with a show of force (yelling, doing feats of strength, etc.), which can boost your team's morale and strike fear in your enemies. The enemy or enemies may hide, avoid attacking you, or carelessly attack.

This can work on regular animals, PCs who opt in, regular monsters, but not game-plot monsters or important NPCs.

TLC — The three stones Vyng fused into Tuck's axe in the spirit realm, Terry, Larry, and Chad, can chat with Tuck. That's about all they can do, really. Just three talking stones that only Vyng and Tuck can hear.

Inventory:
WEAPON

Heavy Metal axe — A giant great axe that glows in the dark with help from TLC. It can smash any stone (or could until coming here) and looks, like, suuuuper bad ass.

OUTFIT

Bass Lute — A two-necked, three-headed lute he carries around everywhere. Vyng and Tuck occasionally put on impromptu jam sessions in taverns when the mood strikes, or if they need to distract an audience while Billie steals stuff.

Friendship Bracelet — Billie, Tuck, and Vyng all have a bracelet that symbolizes their friendship and powers Tuck's ability Mark of Might. It tells others that Tuck and his friends are not to be messed with. This doesn't work in-game, but he still has the bracelet.

Magic Ring — Much like the friendship bracelets, they each have a ring made out of Chamberlain's stained glass. They are magically imbued, but so far only Billie can use the magic inside them.

Amulet — Nothing special about it. It carries a picture of his mother and a horse. For some... reason. Also, a picture of Seathane's wife now I think. He keeps just adding random shit in it. I don't think he can close it anymore without a string tie.

Writing Samples:
TDM, LOG

OUT OF CHARACTER

Player Name: Claire
Player Age: 30
Player Contact:

slanndalous, slanndalous#5708

Other Characters In Game:
In-Game Tag If Accepted: tachome dhaume: claire
Permissions for Character: Here
Are you comfortable with prominent elements of fourth-walling?: Yes
What themes of horror/psychological thrillers do you enjoy the most?: Anything supernatural, body horror
Is there anything in particular you absolutely need specific content warnings for?: No
Additional Information: N/A

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Tachome Dhaume

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September 2021

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